Want
by FashionPixie89
Summary: Edward leaves Bella alone in the woods after breaking her heart. She is unable to pick up the pieces and move on. When Edward can no longer take being away from his Bella, he finds she isn't as willing to have him back. Complete.
1. He Doesn't Want Me

His words continued to ring through her ears as she lay on the cold, damp ground that made up the lower half of the forest. The sequence they were spoken in no longer existed. It was as if someone had taken random pages from a dictionary and circled words that were lost on her, words that didn't make sense.

He didn't want her.

Bella's body hugged itself in a tight ball as she cried the last tear her body could produce before falling into a state of exhaustion. The cold had settled in long after Edward's departure, illustrating just how long she had been left alone. Hours that seemed like years. Her throat was dry and raspy, as if she had choked on salt water doused with cyanide - damaged, like the rest of her aching being.

He didn't want her.

A low mumbling could be heard off in the distance, well beyond the thick ferns and trees that surrounded her fragile self. Mumbles that sounded like thunder off in the distance. Thunder, being another thing she would have to learn to hate in spite of him. The mumbles grew louder and louder until she was able to distinguish the yelling of her name from the low rumbles far up in the clouds. Someone was looking for her, but she didn't want to be found. Not yet.

Her body recoiled from the tight ball it had held itself in all these hours, stinging from the sudden movement. Her muscles worked against her, causing her more pain on top of what already ate away at her. In fear that her weak legs would fail her, Bella's hands gripped the grass tightly as she began crawling further away from the voices that begged her to answer, further into the thick woods that wished to consume her until nothing was left. Further away from the life she had before he let it crumble to the ground.

He doesn't want me.

She repeated the words over and over in her head, trying to make sense of them. All of his promises to be with her forever, all of his words whispering he loved her meant nothing anymore. Nothing else existed but the four painfully simple words that stabbed at her entire being, growing louder and louder with each movement, with each breath...

"He doesn't want me..."

"Who doesn't want you, Bells?" The voice was familiar, urgent, as a set of tight arms wrapped around her weak body, pulling her up from the rain soaked ground and against a firm chest. A chest that smelt of the same musky cologne she had grown up with. Charlie.

She hadn't the strength to walk, let alone go over the last conversation she had with Edward. She hardly had the will to continue breathing. Instead, she allowed herself to be carried to the rest of the voices that continued screaming her name, most dying out as she and Charlie came into view. She wanted so badly to apologize for disappearing like she had, though the words were lost, they no longer had meaning. She knew that if her voice was as monotone as her conscience, they would assume she had lost her mind. The truth was, she lost her everything.


	2. Dead Like Me

**Bella's Point Of View  
_  
_**

_Edward! Please, please don't leave like this! I promise I'll be more careful! I promise I'll be better! Please don't leave me!_

I had awoken successfully to a second nightmare, not quite as horrible as the first, as the true nightmare that still played around my lifeless body. At least with the dream, I knew it would end. The reality on the other hand, wouldn't...

I wanted so badly to sit up in my bed, to get up and walk off the muscle cramps that stung my body, though I had no motivation to do so. My body begged me to remain in the comfort of my bed for just a while longer...

_I know you love me! Somewhere deep inside you do, you can't deny that! You told me, you promised me! Please don't throw this away because of your doubts! Please, Edward!_

Sitting up in bed, I noticed the countless towels and blankets that were tightly wrapped around my body. Charlie and whomever else he had out last night took every precaution in preventing hypothermia. Of course, I wished they didn't. Death suited me today. My previously soaked hair clung to my face, making me look just as ugly and dispensable as I felt.

I contemplated walking to the police station where Charlie would surely be working, walking to one of my friends houses, I was sure they were worried, walking off a cliff... but I just couldn't bring myself to any of the three options. Instead, my bare feet found the cold, wooden floor and brought be to the bathroom.

I knew what to expect when it came to my reflection in the mirror that hung above the bathroom sink, emptiness. I knew I wouldn't find myself in the image before me so instead, I made sure to cover the mirror with one of the towels I kept clung to myself, later doing the same to every other mirror I would be exposed to.

The hot water of the shower was lost on me, nothing would ever be as painful as the tight, clenching feeling in my chest. The feeling that was left there by someone I loved and trusted more than anyone in the world. The feeling that made me feel less than human, feel like nothing.

I refused to spend anymore time than necessary in the shower, afraid that if I concentrated too long on washing my hair, or scrubbing the dirt from my body, I would look as I had. I didn't want to resemble anything like my past, my past was nothing but a lie. Instead, I would settle for the new Bella. The Bella that could no longer look at herself in the mirror - she was all I had.

It took only a few moments to dry off and walk back into my bedroom, my sanctuary that was both blessed and cursed. Too many things reminded me of him, I would soon have to discard everything he forgot to rid me of. My still shaking hands grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, clothing that the old Bella would wear. I, instead, settled for a pair of sweats and a baggy sweater. Clothing that hid the emotional scars beneath.

I made my way downstairs, only to find myself feeling the first authentic emotion since his departure. Surprised. Charlie had not left the house for work as he normally would have. His jacket hung by the door along with his gun, while he lounged at the kitchen table, his brown eyes peeking from over the newspaper he had been reading. I assumed he was waiting for me to speak, to show him that I was still alive, but I wasn't.

I offered him the closest thing to a smile I could manage, basically consisting of my lips moving themselves into a straight line, compared to the frown they had been in. It wasn't good enough for him, his eyes still followed me. My body brought me to the counter, my hands pouring me a bowl of cereal, my stomach lurching at the thought of eating. I looked down into the filled bowl, fighting back mouthfuls of vomit as I stormed my way out of the kitchen, up the stairs and back into the claustrophobic bathroom.

My pale arms hugged the toilet while my stomach heaved everything that had previously been inside, out into the open. The acidic taste burning my nose and throat each time the fluid passed through. My coughing and gagging alerted Charlie, his fists pounding on the door.

"Bella? Bella are you okay?"

I'm not okay, I'll never be okay. His knocking grew more violent.

"Do you need me to get you anything? Bella?"

My body lost the fight, finally giving in and allowing me to breathe. My hand reached up to flush the toilet, though my body remained on the cold, tiled floor. I was right, I was no longer human. Bella was replaced by something else, a zombie. Unable to move, to smile, to eat like I always could.

Charlie finally had enough of my silence and opened the door. He must have known what to expect, as his facial expression refused to change. I faintly recalled hearing the voices of the many men that made up my search party. All discussing their departure. Charlie became more and more infuriated during that conversation with his friends, his voice reaching angry pitches that not even I had heard before. He demanded to know what their problem was, where they went, why they left. The same questions I too, wondered though couldn't bring myself to ask.

He must have gone downstairs before coming into the bathroom, in his hands he carried Advil and a glass of water, setting both on the bathroom sink for me. His body was awkward in this new situation, unable to decide on leaving me be, or helping me back to bed. My body wrapped itself up in the protective ball position they had found me in, Charlie taking the hint.

Charlie, just close the door and leave this room. Your daughter is gone, wandering after her fickle Romeo. She isn't coming back. Meet your new child, this ghost. She will try to smile, but she will fail.

I failed.


	3. Nothing Has Changed

Edward's Point Of View

Nothing had changed in the hundred odd years I had existed. I was still a monster, unable to control my hunger. I was still a man, unable to control my urges. I was still not good enough for her. These thoughts had been plaguing my mind well before Jasper's slip. The fact that my family, too, was not good enough for her only made my decision clear. We had to leave.

I had a speech prepared, practiced in front of my family and in front of countless mirrors for days, preparing myself to break her heart. The words sounded almost believable, even to myself as I spoke them aloud to my Bella, my world, my all, my everything. I would miss her like no other.

Her eyes spoke the words she wished to find, to shout at me, to whisper between upcoming sobs, I avoided them. Filling the big space between us with comforting lies and empty promises of moving on, forgetting. I would never forget the only girl in the last century that captured my heart and saved me in every meaning of the word. In every way that one can be saved. I would miss her beautiful face, the way it always seemed to light up, to glow... Her curly hair that blew the most wonderful scents around in the wind. Those eyes that had been filled with just as much loneliness as mine had.

I would miss her.

I missed her.

I had spent the entire drive out into the unknown lost in my own thoughts, my own memories. They were all I had. I found myself trying to reason, trying to convince myself of all the reasons I had left. I made over a hundred mental lists, all coming down to the same conclusion. She deserved better than the life I could give her.

My family had called me countless times, asking me to join them, to talk about my decision and the reasons behind our sudden departure. Alice knew well enough why I had chosen this road, why I had chosen this new life - she could fill them in. I wanted to be alone. I needed to escape everything I knew in order to start over again.

Because sleep no longer affected me, I could easily count the number of days I had spent alone in the same dark hotel room, laying in the used bed with my eyes closed. Picturing her smile. I didn't realize how quickly the memories I had of her would begin to fade. I already found myself forgetting the exact pitch of her laugh, the exact floral scent her body gave off, the exact feel of her soft skin against mine. I had expected to have all of these things memorized perfectly for future reflection, though it wasn't the same. It would never be the same. I no longer had her in my life to remind me of these exact traits... It was excruciating.

My existence soon fell into a coma, nothing more than a man in his own despair, unable to make something of himself. Without her, I wasn't good enough, I was less. The thoughts of others walking through the musty hall and past my door caught my attention once in a while. Often thinking about how much they loved the one they were with, how their love trumped all others. I had to clutch the bed sheets with every ounce of strength I had left to refrain from breaking through the door. How could anyone compare their love to what I felt for her, to what we had? Nothing would ever compare, no girl would ever compare.

The third night into my depression, I fell into the closest thing to sleep I could manage. My mind filled itself with beautiful images and scenarios. I was back in Forks, laying in my Bella's bed just as I had every other night. I often found myself debating the difference between right and wrong when it came to our relationship, while listening to the steady rhythm of Bella's heart beating. My fingers grazed through her smooth hair, my lips trailed along her perfect skin while she slumbered on. Whispering the lyrics I never bothered to write for her lullaby.

_Life was like a moonless night, shrouded in the stars. Beauty can be such a fright, but now you're in my arms. Sleep my Isabella, my everything, my world. You are far too precious to me... You are safe in my arms, safe from any harm. There is nothing to fear, not while I'm here. Now close your eyes and dream, let all, your worries, melt away. I wont ever let you go, no._

The obnoxious ringing of my cellular phone pulled me from this small piece of heaven I was granted, though something warm wrapped tight in my arms distracted me.

I half expected to find her, my Bella, cradled in my arms. It would be no shock that Alice had caved in and directed Bella to the old hotel I was situated in. I hoped she had forgiven me, for all the heartless and untrue lies I threw at her only a few nights before. That she was somehow able to push that pain into the back of her mind and crawl into bed with me, back into my arms. My eyes glanced down, a smile painted across my face that quickly disappeared. In my arms there was nothing more than a pillow I had subconsciously clung onto like a child and it's nursery blanket.

I pulled myself away from closest thing to a dream I had in years, encouraging myself to answer the phone. Of course it was Esme, she was the only one in the family that would not heed my warnings. She would call every single day for the rest of forever, just to check in. I loved her for that.

The number splayed on the caller ID screen was not that of Esme's. It was an out of area number, which baffled me. I hadn't made many friends in Forks, nor in any other town. Flipping the cellular phone on, I pressed it to my ear with a rough "Hello".

"If you think you're going to get away with all of this, than you have another thing coming. That's my damned daughter you left out there! What would have happened had we not have found her! She's in a horrible enough condition as it is, without some miserable punk like you ditching her in the cold."

Charlie. The one thing in Forks I would never be able to outrun. As much as I wanted to apologize to him, I couldn't. Those kind words would only be spoken back to Bella, she would take it in another way all together. Thinking I had a sudden change of heart, she would come looking for me. I knew her far too well. Instead, I simply hung the phone up, not speaking another word, or allowing another of his. My cellular phone soon collided with the wall.

Goodbye, everything I knew.


	4. Old Places, New Faces

**Bella's Point Of View**

Charlie hadn't woken me up for school today. Instead, I woke up to the sunlight pouring in through the closed bathroom window, spitting happiness in my face as if it were force feeding me a drug. I spat it back. Keep your warmth to yourself...

The bathroom remained unchanged since last night. My glass of water and Advil still perched on the bathroom sink where Charlie had left it, my body still splayed on the cold bathroom floor where I had left it.

I pulled myself up from the haven I had created the night before, making sure that the same towel was covering the mirror much as it had last night. I was thankful Charlie didn't remove it, perhaps he understood me better than I had originally thought. My hand found my tooth brush, lifelessly applying the tooth paste before reflexively putting it in my mouth. Brushing my teeth was an everyday chore that I had grown used to, though today it was much different.

The more I struggled to keep myself from thinking of that night, the more vicious and rough my brushing became. At one point I noticed myself spitting out blood from the harsh abuse my gums were receiving. I rinsed my mouth with the water Charlie had left for me, before making my way to my bedroom.

Most of my clothing consisted of jeans a t-shirts, blouses and hoodies. I no longer wanted these though I couldn't exactly bring myself to toss them out. Instead I threw all the clothing I no longer could see myself in beneath my bed, the place I would keep everything I no longer wanted.

I changed into yet another set of sweats and a sweater, throwing the previously worn set into the laundry basket outside my door before entering back into my bedroom and scanning around. I made myself a promise to rid my bedroom of anything that reminded me of him, I was going to follow through with it. I, can keep promises...

The first thing to go was the bed spread. Too many nights the two of us had cuddled on top of it, wrapped up in each others arms. I angrily tore it from my bed and threw it into the hallway, unsure of what to do with such a large piece of material. Perhaps Charlie would have some use for it. The next items were the countless books I enjoyed reading so much. Wuthering Heights had been my favorite book since I could remember. Now, it was a constant reminder of those sweet words Edward had spoken to me about now being able to reason with the Heathcliff. I tossed the book into the trash, along with Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility and Mansfield Park. All books who's main male characters name was one form of Edward or another.

With a sigh, I glanced around the room. He had already taken care of the small notes I kept that he usually left me, as well as any photographs or gifts he had bought me. For this I was thankful. My eyes came to my window. The same window he stood outside every night, waiting for Charlie to fall asleep. The window he would sneak in through to spend the night with me. The window that no longer had a purpose. My hands picked up the book filled trash can and threw it with as much strength as I could muster, smashing the window effectively.

I instantly regretted the action I had done in anger, my body throwing itself to the floor, grasping at pieces of glass and tossing them into the dented trash can beside me. Charlie wouldn't be angry, there was no way he would think of saying anything to me as it was. The zombie that had taken over his daughters body frightened him. My hand clutched a piece of glass far too tightly, slicing through my skin as if it were warm butter. The sharpness of the glass caused very little pain, and very much blood.

I could smell the warm liquid well before I could see or feel it oozing from my hand. My eyes instantly clamping shut as I darted out of my bedroom blindly, and back into the safe haven of a bathroom. I had cut myself many times in the past, so taking care of it was no problem. Running it under water long enough to wrap a small towel around my hand would surely keep everything under control. That is exactly what I did. I didn't bother to open my eyes to clean the sink of the blood, my emptied stomach couldn't handle it at this point. Instead I made my way out of the bathroom and away from the dangers of my bedroom and down the stairs.

Charlie wasn't home, though his gun and his jacket were. The had probably gone down to Billy Blacks for the day, especially since the only bathroom in the house was being used as a bed by his broken daughter... This was his second day missing work because of me...

I walked into the kitchen, glancing at the cereal I had once craved. My stomach lurched the same way it had yesterday morning, begging me to pry my gaze away from it. Doing as my body wanted, my gaze fell on a note Charlie had left me, declaring he had in fact gone to Billy's for the day. My father had to escape is own house because of me...

I knew I would have to talk to him, assure him I was okay, even though I wasn't. He couldn't keep missing work, or leaving the house to use the bathroom, I had to start thinking of him. Grabbing my trucks keys, I walked out the front door. My hands instantly pulling my hood up over my head as a last ditch effort to escape the sun that for once, shone in Forks. My truck remained unchanged, although everything else in my life was altered in someway or another. My bedroom, my father, my heart. I was glad to at least have one thing remain the same. I started the truck, not-quite-smiling at the loud purring it offered in response.

It took me a little longer than usual to make my way down to La Push, the thrill of driving fast was in the garbage can in my bedroom along with every other aspect of being with him. Instead, I took my time and admired all the things I hated about Forks. The green of the plants and moss, the wetness of the ground, the cold sting of the air. All things I had hated since first landing here, yet all things I had grown to love.

The green soon began growing in brightness as I neared the "rez", the paved road turning to dirt as I drove down to what I remembered as Billy Black's home. Charlies police cruiser was parked out front, the two men sitting out in the sun with a beer in their hand. For the first time in three days, my father smiled.

I climbed out of the large truck, waving a 'hello' to Billy before shoving one of my hands into the pocket in my sweats, the other still wrapped in a blood soaked towel. Charlie opened his mouth to ask what happened, but I had beaten him to the punch.

"Just a piece of glass, I'll clean it up when I get home..." I wasn't sure when that would be. I wasn't ready to situate myself back into the bedroom I had once owned.

"Don't worry about it, Bells, I'll take care of it. We don't want you losing a finger or two in the process." Charlie always found my clumsiness humorous. Apparently Billy did as well.

A fourth presence shifted from it's standing place at the corner of the small house, smiling awkwardly with his hands deep in his jean pockets. Jacob smiled in my direction, Charlie soon cutting in.

"Why don't you two take a walk down the beach, I doubt us old men have anything interesting for you to listen to." He was right, one of the last things I wanted to do was sit on the sunny front lawn, listening to the men talk about their now mutual dislike for the Cullen's. I could barely think the name, let alone listen to it.

I didn't exactly reply, though I really didn't need to. Jacob took the invitation as it came and walked past me, leading the way down to the beach. I followed behind him, enjoying the quiet that settled between us. My sneakered feet soon found the sand, causing a weird, sinking feeling. It was odd how surprising the feeling was, when it's all I had been doing these past few days... sinking...

"I'm sorry about your boyfriend, and your hand..." Jacob's smile made my insides sting more than his words. There was something so insincere about it, almost... happy that they were gone. It wasn't a secret that those on the reserve disliked the Cullen's, but they could at least be polite about it. I only nodded in response. "This gives us a good time to... you know, talk..."

Jacob and I apparently had been good friends when we were younger, though I remembered very little about that. Since my return, he had been fairly eager to see me, to talk to me. I liked it, liked knowing at least one person was interested in being my friend.

"Talking's...good." My mouth betrayed me, the words hypocritical. If talking was so good, why hadn't I done it all week? Perhaps the aspect of listening was more appealing than actually contributing to the conversation. I was interested in what he had to say, since I heard from him so very little.

"I was just thinking that we could get together, as friends sometime."his feet kicked the sand, his eyes watching them do so, refusing to look at me. He was nervous, it was adorable. "Maybe the movies or something, as friends?" I nodded. He smiled.

The drive home and gone by much slower than the drive to La Push. Charlie tailed behind me, making my driving nervous. I made it home alive, much to my helpless begging of death. I no longer had the pleasant distraction of a friend, no longer had the sand beneath my feet to prove I wasn't actually sinking. I was home, a hell like no other.

Once inside, Charlie began looking for the glass I had cut myself on. I let out a soft sigh to catch his attention, my eyes finding his. It was time to lie to him.

"I'm okay, dad... really." I even practiced a smile in the truck while driving home, careful not to let him see it in the review mirror. It felt awkward on my lips, but vaguely familiar. He seemed to have bought it, returning the smile and nodding once before making his way upstairs to clean up my mess. I wish he could clean everything...

I couldn't bring myself to return upstairs, even after Charlie had finished cleaning up and made his way to his own bedroom for a nights sleep. Instead, I collapsed on the sofa, curling up into the safe ball I often found myself in. Protecting myself from whatever pain was waiting for me.

For the first time in three days, I cried. I cried for what we had, for what I lost, for the things I longed for. I cried for myself, for him... God, I wanted him... I cried.


	5. Six Months

**Edwards Point Of View**

Six months, twenty one hours, seventeen minutes and thirty nine, forty, forty one seconds had passed. Forty two, forty three, forty four... I had been cooped up in the same hotel rooms. The walls seemed to close around me a little more each time my watch ticked. Closing in to devour me completely in the hell I had made for myself.

I refrained from making a single call, from leaving the room in fear. Fear that my body would flee back to her. My world, my life, my all. Take her back in my arms despite every reason I shouldn't. Love her, like I continued to despite my absence. Yes, if I left this crowded room my body would surely involuntarily run back to her against my will. Like a reflex I couldn't rid myself off, like a heart beating.

I hadn't opened that door once, not once. My self control was outstanding even to myself, though at times I felt it diminishing. At the end of each week when it came time to pay the tab on my room, I slipped the money beneath the door upon hearing the owner's footprints. I lived on nothing, no blood. My eyes stung red more and more each day though my cravings for the humans on the other side of the door never phased me. I would never be satisfied without her. I would crave, only her.

This particular day was filled with rain, pounding in sheets against my hotel room's window. Raining like it had in Forks all the months before. As I lay in the same used bed, staring at the same stained ceiling I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing at exactly that instant. What kind of people she had met over the past few months, what kind of activities she had indulged herself in. Today was one of the few days a month my self control was at it's weakest. Both my body and heart begging me to go back to her, though my mind refused to allow such a thing to happen.

As a distraction, I pried myself from the nest I had made for myself on top of the bed, and began pacing the bedroom. My fists were balled up tightly, trying to focus more on the clenching pain rather than her beautiful face. My body grew more frantic as the rain continued to pelt against the window harder, challenging me.

I can't go back to her, I left. I left her so she could make a new and much better life for herself. She doesn't deserve the hell I live in, she deserves much, much better...

I repeated the same lines I had memorized over the past months, hoping that they would sound more honest than they normally did. The truth in each word faded so horribly, instead, replacing my reasoning with doubt.

What if the life she finds is worse, what if the one she's with can't protect her like I can? My Bella had always been a trouble magnet, no human could prevent the dangers that always seemed to find her. What if... What if...

No. I wouldn't bring myself to think of that. Bella was alive and well, much as she always had been. Alice would have contacted me had she seen otherwise, only... No one could contact me. The bits and pieces of my cellular device lay damaged on the floor where I had left it six months ago. Bella was fine... I just... I just needed to be sure.

My mind was made up before I allowed myself to argue. I would visit Alice, the rest of my family for a short period of time. Ask Alice to channel herself to Bella, I just had to make sure she was well.

I left the proper amount of cash on the table next to the bed for the owner, and for the first time in six months, twenty one hours, twenty one minutes and fifty seconds, I opened the door and left the hotel I had confined myself to.

The breeze outside was crisp and wet, the rain soaking my face. I knew I should take my car, though I wasn't in the mood to drive. I needed to stretch my legs, to run, to feed. I walked to the end of the long road slowly, human like. Enjoying the freedom displayed in front of me before the road turned in two separate directions. Alice and the rest of my family would surely be in Denali with their closest friends, that turn was to the right of me. I glanced down the long road, preparing myself to make a mad dash, but my own actions surprised me. Left, I had turned left. Left lead back to Forks, the place I was trying to avoid.

I can't go back there! Stop it! LISTEN TO ME! I don't want to see her, I can't see her! What would I say, she wouldn't want to hear anything that came from my mouth! I BROKE HER HEART!

I didn't care. My entire entity had enough, it needed to be reunited with it's other half, it needed to fee alive again.

Would she let me inside, would she even let me in her yard? Would she listen to what I have to say? Would she... could she... still, love me?

The rain continued to hit me as my body fled the prison of a town I had been staying in. At this speed, I would be with my love by tomorrow. I didn't know what to expect, the only thing I knew was that I had to try.


	6. Six Months And One Day

**Bella's Point Of View**

The past six months had been excruciating in every aspect of the word. I had alienated myself from all of the friends I once had in school, alienated my family (minus Charlie) and still managed to cry myself to sleep each and every night. I had very little will to live, to breathe, to exist. I existed only for Charlie, who seemed to be just as empty as I felt. He watched his daughter struggle day after day to keep from picking up that knife, to refuse jumping in front of the oncoming car. He watched me die little by little until there was very little left. I wished so badly I could be what I once was, just for him. It stabbed my wounds deeper to watch him like this, in pain because of me.

I rolled out of bed much as I did everyday, my face sticky from the tears I let fall overnight. My bedroom was foreign to me now, dark and dank like a cave. I had a blanket covering my window that I refused to have fixed, blocking any light that may attempt to seep through the broken glass.

My hands, like everyday before, reached for the same pair of faded blue jeans and t-shirt I wished to wear, though cast a second glanced at the pair of sweats and sweater I already had laying out for myself. The same pair of the dozen sets of sweat pants I had bought myself to replace my old clothing. The clothing Charlie begged me so badly to let him burn. I turned my back to the sweats laying on the rocking chair in the corner of my bedroom, instead focusing on putting myself back into those jeans.

The denim material felt so strange against my smooth skin, the waist of the jeans sagging immensely away from my body, my obvious weight loss forcing them to slide down my slender form. I grabbed a belt from one of my drawers and threw it on, effectively holding the jeans up as I put my t-shirt on over my upper half.

I walked over to my full body mirror, taking off the dusty towel that covered it. The reflection that stood in front of me was nothing like I remembered, it wasn't me. I was thin. Far too thin, even after all of these months my stomach continued to heave at the thought of eating. My skin lost the pink flush it always seemed to have - one of the human qualities everyone carried. Instead, I was pasty white, colorless. My hair fell around my shoulders and down my back much as it always had, but it was lifeless. My big, brown eyes stared back at me, the light stolen from them. I looked unhealthy, like a zombie.

I lifted the front of my t-shirt, observing every inch of skin that covered my stomach, my sides and my back. My skin had always been flawless, not a single scar which was surprising. Only now, my wrist had a constant reminder of the hell I had gone through with James. An imperfection visible to the human eye, a reason I wasn't as perfect as he claimed.

Tears began to form in my eyes, but I refused to cry. Instead I pried myself away from the stranger that stood before me and made my way downstairs. Jacob was already sitting on the sofa with Charlie, pretending to be just as occupied in the basketball game as he was. Charlie naturally got along with Jacob, being his best friends son and all. Now, he was just putting forth too much effort, for Jacob was the one person that was pulling me out of my depression the slightest bit.

"I'm ready." My hands dug into my pockets as I forced a smile to Charlie, my way of saying good-bye for the day. I refused to actually say the words, fearing that I might mistake it as a final farewell and take the opportunity to end what sad piece of existence I had left.

Jacob was at my side in an instant, bidding Charlie good-bye before walking out of the house, letting me lead the way. He had promised me for weeks now that he would take me to the cliffs. The same cliffs that his friends jumped off for fun. I heard they were beautiful, just sitting and looking down into the ocean. I always loved the ocean, it reminded me of the home I had shared with my mother. That life seemed so distant, as if it were a century ago.

The ride wasn't as long as it normally was. I had let Jacob drive my loud, monster of a truck, the two of us diving into conversation the second we hit the truck seats. We spent everyday together in the summer and most evenings together during school months. We held hands when we walked, though it wasn't as couples did. It was more a sentimental gesture on his behalf, letting me know he was there with me, for me. I secretly thanked him for that.

I was the first to climb out of the truck and run my way to the cliffs edge, amazement on my face as I stared down in wonder at the deep ocean beneath me. I felt insignificant, like a tiny grain of sand being tossed around in the wind. I felt wonder, and beauty as the wind pushed through my tasseled hair, making me feel something for the first time in such a long time.

Jacob's presence drew my attention away from the glories of nature, a large smile painted across both of our faces. Mine, was thanking him for taking me here, showing me this, experiencing this with me. His, was thanking himself for making me smile genuinely.

"Lets jump!" My words threw him off guard, his smile fading into a look of surprise and confusion.

"What?"

"Let's jump! Like your friends do!" My words were far too over enthused, excitement rippling through my dead body as I kicked my five dollar, flat sneakers from my feet. The sound of my voice was foreign to him, as was this new emotion I was displaying. "Come on!"

Jacob hesitated, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable with the idea as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I dunno, Bells... It's pretty windy, the water's probably cold, and -"

"Aw, Jake!" Out of all the people in the entire universe, I thought he would be the most willing to take this adventure with me. though jumping alone would be far more scary than jumping with his hand in mine, I was prepared. "I'll tell you just how amazing it is, and what you missed out on." I shot him a smile, ignoring the shaking of his head. He clearly thought I was insane.

Jogging back a few steps, I forced myself into a fast run, throwing myself from the ledge of the cliff with a happy scream. My body forced itself through the could wind, stabbing at my exposed skin like tiny, cold daggers though I didn't care. It felt like freedom.

The water broke easily beneath my weight and the force of the fall, the splashing sound able to be heard even under the waves, loud and deafening. It wasn't until a sharp stinging, much more violent than the tiny cold daggers in the wind, pierced my head that I realized the sound wasn't the splash.

The crystal clear water that surrounded me turned red. It was blinding, smothering, confusing. My sight was hazy, my coordination lost. I tried to swim to the top, but my limbs wouldn't move from the defeated position they remained in.

The last image I saw before my eyes fluttered closed was that of the rock my head had collided with upon entering the cold water. It stood there, mocking me. Taunting me. Taking away the last thing I had. Darkness soon blocked the hatred beaming from the rock, easing my fear. Though I had nothing left, I still had the peace of death. Not Edward, nor that rock would take it away from me. Not now...


	7. Home

**Edward's Point Of View**

Freesia and rain welcomed me home. I followed that sweet, tempting smell, knowing the cause of it was the one I longed for, the one I craved. I had stopped for a simple meal along the way, fearing if I didn't I would surely give into my monstrous cravings and devour the last bit of a chance I had left with my love.

My body came to a reflexive halt, the invisible border of the treaty line stood at the tips of my toes. Bella was on La Push reservation, probably with her friends. I low rumble in the sky sounded as the rain truly began. A sign. I had waited months in my hotel room, waiting to be cured of the love that plagued me, the memories that ate away at me. The rain that pelted against my window last night woke me up from the nightmare I had created for myself, it had shown me where I truly belong. Today, it was showing me again where I was meant to be. My feet disobeyed the treaty line, stepping for the first time in many years onto the land I was denied. My body sprinted after her.

I found myself becoming more frantic as I climbed over countless large rocks, the waves crashing up against them. The strong sting of blood filled my nostrils, freesias tainting the bitter sweet drug. It didn't shock me that Bella was bleeding in the slightest, she was always clumsy. Falling on rocks and scraping herself up was something that happened at least once a weekend. My body came to an agonizing stop, my eyes falling upon two bodies on the shore line, the waves ignoring their presence as they crashed around them. One, was my Bella. Laying lifeless in the sand, the rain against her body diluting the blood around her, spreading it, tainting the brown sand.

My body was at hers quicker than the lightening that stroke across the sky. My experienced hands pushing Jacob's feeble one's away from her. His eyes were filled with fear and confusion, enraged of my presence on his land. I didn't care. I didn't care if the next wave crushed him between two rocks, he was nothing to me. Bella, was everything.

She was still breathing, her chest was moving the slightest bit, though eager to cease. Her heart fluttered continuously, though not as strongly as it should. It struggled to pump the small fraction of blood that remained in her body, most of it escaping through the wound that stretched itself from her forehead down behind her right ear. "Bella..."

I pulled her body further away from the crashing waves, collapsing beside her as I set her head on my lap. My arms tore my shirt from my body quicker than I ever could have imagined, my hands pressing it against her head in a helpless effort to save what little amount of blood she had left. Jacob was on the phone with 9-1-1, though they weren't going to respond quick enough. Not for me, not for her.

I was unsure as to whether or not she had any fractures. I had read in one of Carlisle's medical volumes that victims should not be moved, that it could cause permanent paralysis. I could either spend the rest of my life doing things for her, or the rest of my life without her.

My arms easily scooped up her tiny body, realizing just how much weight she had lost. She felt like a single feather, even with my strength. A sharp stab of guilt pierced my dead heart. I could have prevented this, I could have saved her...

I will save her.


	8. Waking Up In Hell

**Bella's Point Of View**

.Beep.

My eyes fluttered open, only to stare at a bare, white wall before me. The silence around me was louder than anything, making everything about waking up uneasy.

.Beep.

My left hand stung. As I wiggled my fingers around, I could feel something sharp moving beneath my skin. An IV.

.Beep.

My. Head. Throbbed.

.Beep.

"Bella..." Charlie's voice tore my attention away from the distractions around me. "How are you feeling? It's me... dad..."

"I know who you are." Was I diagnosed with stupidity? My eyes strained to catch the expression on his face. "Jacob told me you went cliff diving... Were you trying to get yourself killed?"

Yes.

"No."

Charlie sighed deeply, his hand resting against my shoulder. "You were in surgery for eight hours, Bells... They couldn't stop the bleeding, you're lucky Edward called Dr. Cullen in so quickly. You're lucky to be alive."

'Edward' and 'lucky to be alive' didn't deserve to be in the same paragraph. I sighed softly as I glanced at the machine to my side, displaying my breaths, my pulse, my heart beats... I was amazed that after hearing his name, it continued on. I was amazed to remember the sound of his voice whispering my name after Jacob had pulled me from the water. I was amazed Charlie hadn't murdered him for the way he had left me. Worse than the condition I was in now. "It was a stupid idea that seemed fun at the time... I didn't anticipate rocks, neither did Jacob." I refused to mention Edward, he played no role in my life any longer. His name no longer deserved to flow from my mouth as freely as it once had. "I'm sorry..."

Charlie responded to my words with a smile, thanking everything around him for saving me. I knew at that moment I could never leave him, despite what pain anyone ever put me through. He loved me more than anyone ever loved another, I seen that now. Irregardless of our separate views and interests, I was his world.

Our conversation, or lack there of, was interrupted by a nurse. A big smile painted across her face at the realization of my awareness. She carried a large glass of orange juice, setting it at the table beside my hospital bed. I didn't have to be told the purpose of the juice, my body still lacked it's own blood, this would speed up the process of making it's own. Charlie soon exited the room, giving the nurse and I privacy as she checked the dressings around my wound. It didn't take long for a second presence to seize Charlie's absence and bombard me with unwanted company.

The nurse smiled like a school girl at Edward's presence, his dazzling effect clearly winning her over. I, however, no longer seen it. He waited until she was done with the check up and until she left the room before focusing his eyes on mine. I challenged him, not blinking once.

"Bella..." His voice sounded the same as it had mid-death on the beach. The same as it always did. Too soft. Flawed. I no longer seen him as a god, as perfection. How could I? "Bella, you truly have an eye for danger... I'd think you'd have learned your lesson after all the times before." His voice teased. I was not amused.

"You'd think after all these months you'd have learned to keep a promise." My voice shot back angrily. How dare he break not one, but two promises to me. The first that he would never leave, the second that he would never come back. I found it disgusting how used to his lies I was becoming, though judging from the look on his face, he wasn't expecting it. He looked almost guilty... almost.

"I couldn't stay away from you any longer, I was stupid and foolish to have left you in the woods. To have left you at all." His eyes refused to leave mine, challenging me in return. "I thought I would be able to live my life with only our memories, to... to somehow go on without you. I was wrong, Bella... So, so wrong..."

Edward said everything I imagined he would if he came back. The only difference was that in my dream, I believed and accepted his words. In reality I felt sick to my stomach listening to him. "You couldn't have asked Alice for the outcome before you broke my heart?! You go to her for everything else!" I didn't want to drag the rest of his family into this, but I was just as angry with them as I was with him. "She could have saved us six months! She could have saved me from what I've become!"

The beeping of the stupid monitor beside me grew more frantic as my blood pressure increased, my heart's beats growing more rapid. I took a single, calming breath before tearing my eyes away from Edward's in defeat.

"Get out..."


	9. Broken

**Edward's Point Of View**

"Get out..."

Her words were simple, yet so filled with anger, her eyes matching that same emotion. I stood before her, defeated. I couldn't deny her the simple request she demanded of me. I walked out.

I had traveled for an entire day to be the one place I was meant to be, at her side. Yet, I found myself turned away. Was it really a surprise? How on earth could I have expected her to welcome me back with open arms?

The drive back to my previously abandoned residence took only moments. My hurried driving was a spitting image of the anger I felt inside, directed only at myself. I slammed the car into 'park' and made my way inside, looking forward to the loneliness and silence that awaited me. With the way my day had been going, I shouldn't have been shocked that my entire family stood before me, worried and happy expressions painted across their familiar faces.

Esme was the first and only to throw her arms around me and embrace me in only a way that a mother can. I assumed I had worried her enough over the past few months, Alice's visions must have really sent her over the edge. Carlisle greeted me by squeezing my shoulder, as he always had while the others stood in front of us, paired off. I offered them a smile before leaving the room, instantly making my way upstairs and into the comfort of my untouched bedroom.

My hard body hit the black, leather sofa that entertained my bedroom, taking in what all had happened. My return home had started by stumbling across my bleeding Bella, and moved on to a horrifying eight hour surgery that left me praying to whatever god would listen to a monster such as myself. My prayers went answered, for only a short three days after, my Bella awoke. I had found myself during her three unconscious days, just... talking to her. Carrying on entire conversations while she slept, although she couldn't hear or respond in anyway. I had caught myself thinking on more than one occasion, how could such a small and breakable being have such a forceful pull and hold on me? That question would always go unanswered.

A sigh escaped my lips as I replayed the words she spoke to me in such anger. An anger like I had never seen her portray. I knew at some points in our relationship I had made her upset, aggravated even but none of those times multiplied, compared to this... I felt dead, for the first time since meeting her.

The next few days I spent alone in my bedroom much as I had in my hotel room over the past few months, though I no longer ignored the voices outside my door. My family continued their lives on, unpacking their belongings after Alice gave them the 'go ahead'. The only difference between this hell, and the one in the hotel was that there was a knock on my door during this stay.

The door opened slowly without a response from myself to allow it. Rosalie entered alone, offering me a sympathetic smile. It enraged me to receive pity from any of my family members. They knew nothing of losing the one they loved, they were all still together. She was the first to speak, since I had nothing to say.

"Esme is worried about you, I'm sure you know." My sister seated herself at the end of the leather sofa my feet occupied. I made no effort to reposition myself to make space for her, she often stole everyone's space as it was... "Perhaps you should make an appearance today, for her sake."

"Rosalie thinking of someone other than herself, I must have woken up in a different world." My eyes pierced her like ice, my words equally as cold, though I cared not. I didn't care about anything, not anymore. "Perhaps you should make an appearance downstairs and leave me the hell alone." Rosalie was used to my sarcastic and unnecessary comments, she and I got along the least in the family, though today she chose to take even less offense to my words as usual. Purposely, as if trying to provoke me further. I refused to give in.

Pulling myself up from the stiff and continuous position I had myself I for the past days, I left my room and left her annoying ways behind only to find the rest of the house empty. Rosalie's scent no longer lingered in my bedroom, but instead pushed itself out my window, leaving me behind. A trick.


	10. Angry On The Outside

**Bella's Point Of View**

I spent the final days of recovery at home, resting, while Charlie took care of the house. It was...weird, watching him do all of my chores with a happy smile on his face. Happy, that I was actually able to come home and remember it. It didn't stop him from rubbing the near-death experience in my face every chance he got, but that would be something I would have to learn to deal with.

The final day of recovery, was the one day I was looking forward to the most. I had been bouncing around all day, eager to take the ugly bandages off my head, eager to look human again. Around noon, Charlie aided me in doing so, the horror I expected to see didn't exist. It was replaced with a single, pink cut along my forehead. Clearly, it would leave a scar... Yet another reason for him not to have wanted me. Another flaw.

I loved my flaw.

This, defined who I was now. I was no longer scared, I was no longer held back. I was free from the chains I had forced myself into over the last months of my life. I was free from the death that I thought had consumed me. I was free.

While admiring the wound in the mirror, I thought about those words and the true meaning behind them. I wasn't quite the old Bella I wanted to be so badly once again. I wasn't exactly the Bella that walked around here for the past six months, either. I was new. I cling to that thought much longer than the others, my hands grabbing the keys to my truck. I wasn't the same, weak girl he left in the woods. I was strong, independent. I jumped from flip'en cliffs!

My body moved so quickly, I was at his front door before I had the chance to blink. My truck parked in his driveway, looking as out of place as always. My fist refused to collide with the door. No... It was saving itself for his face. I no longer had a boyfriend to defend my honor, I had to do it myself. My hand reached for the doorknob, but failed. The door, instead, opened, revealing the one thing I was seeking. The monster in the fairy tale.

"Bella..." He had no right to say my name like that. He had no right to even look at me! Before I had time to scream those same thoughts at him, my fist collided with the iron that made his face. He didn't flinch the slightest, though I did that enough for the both of us as I cradled my throbbing hand to my chest. "Bella... You know you can't hurt me..."

"You're wrong!" Tears had already begun streaking my pale cheeks as my body lunged at his, my fists pounding into his rock-hard chest much like a child throwing a temper tantrum. His body didn't budge from the firm position he held at the entrance to the door, his arms staying firmly at his sides as he took the attack. Each pounding from my small, ineffectual fists meant something different. This is for leaving me! This is for lying to me! This is for making me love you! I had a thousand reasons to hit him, my body exhausted itself out well before ten. His arms wrapped around my body, my tired arms pushed him away. He offered me sad eyes, I tore my gaze from him. I was not giving in, not this time around... I pushed past him, and entered his home without a single sign of invitation. I refused to be left outside in the rain, not again.

The house was untouched, perfect as it always had been. Signs of life radiated around it, suit cases lounging around the large, open space. The Cullen's must have decided to move back to Forks, of course...

"Bella... Can we please talk?"

My body turned harshly, my eyes glaring up at him. How dare he ask me for anything! "I want you to leave." I refused to break eye contact with him, despite the hurt look that washed over his face. "I want you and your family, to stay gone." They had no right showing up here like this, no right to walk back into the life they shattered.

"Bella, I've tried explaining this to you in the hospital... I can't stay away from you, as hard as I tried it soon became impossible. I need to be with you, I need to know you're alive each and every second of the day. I need you..."

His words were like repeated slaps in the face, each one more rough and more violent than the one before. Like sticking a salted finger in an open wound, unbearable. "You. Left. Me."

"I'm back now."

"I didn't ask for you back." My tone surprised even me, I sounded almost... serious. No, I was serious! I didn't want him, I don't want him! "You left me, Edward! You told me you didn't want me!"

"I lied."

"You always lie! You lie about loving me, about keeping me forever, about protecting me! You lie about staying away, and lie about lying!" My words no longer made sense. They were rushing out of my mouth too quickly to do so. "How do I know you're not lying now, that... that this isn't a scheme to get whatever you want before running off again?!"

"You need to trust me, Bella. You need to let me in..."

"I did trust you! You broke me!" With those final words, my body pushed past his, only to be held in place with such force. "Let me go!"


	11. Tell Me How To Love You

**Edward's Point Of View**

She tried to walk out of our heating conversation, but I couldn't let her leave. Not like this, not right now. My hands gripped her arms with enough force to keep her in place, despite her struggling and screaming.

"Let me go!"

I shook my head, my eyes burning into hers. I had listened to more than enough of what she had to say about my leaving, she clearly didn't understand my motive behind doing so, though I didn't blame her. I wouldn't believe me, either after everything I had put her through.

"Why do you have to keep torturing me?!"

"Torture?"

""Telling me you loved me! Walking into my life so easily, making me want you, need you... love you. Becoming my everything! You made me feel whole for the first time in my life, even though I never knew I was so incomplete! You showed me a whole new world, made me feel like a princess in a fairy tale. Offered me a life I never could have dreamed of. I gave you my heart, Edward! I gave it to you without you even asking of it! You took it, and broke it into a million little pieces! You turned me into nothing more than a zombie, a memory, an afterthought! You left me in the woods, you left me in the dark! You left me alone!"

"Bella, I love you."

"I hate yo-" My fingers were against her lips, ceasing her words. The hurt I felt, was like nothing in the entire world... Everything had died, I was the only thing walking around the deserted planet. Nothing existed but me and the ashes that covered the earth.

"Don't. Don't you ever say that to me." I knew she didn't hate me, I knew it was a human trait to shout out obscenities in the heat of the moment. I knew she loved me just as deeply as I loved her, though I no longer knew whether or not she would allow me to know that love again.

My fingers moved from her trembling lips, moving to wipe the tears gently and slowly off her cheeks. Such things didn't deserve to be displayed on such a beauty. A single word escaped my lips as they too, trembled in immense sadness. Guilt, for breaking her in ways I didn't understand possible. "Please..."

Before I knew it, I was on my knees in front of her, holding her hands to my chest. Her tears defied me, continuing to fall more freely than before as her own chest struggled to breathe between agonizing sobs. My words shook with the same sadness my own body would not let fall from my eyes. I, was crying.

"Please... Please Bella. I can't imagine going on in this existence without these arms..." My fingers traced along her bare arms, savoring the soft feel of her skin against mine. I choked back a sob as I continued. "Without this face..." My fingers moved to trace the outline of her lips that continued to tremble, them too, stained with falling tears. "Without your good heart..." My hand fell to her chest, pressing against her skin to allow us both to feel the steady rhythm of the muscle pumping beneath. "I can't live, without you."

Her body tore away from my tender touches, throwing herself out the door in a quick escape. I could easily hear her crying growing more heavy as she forced herself into her truck. I, remained on my knees, staring at the empty space before me as she started her engine. I couldn't let her go...

My body tore itself from the floor it was knelt on, running out into the pouring rain just as she began to pull away. I bolted after her, running into the rain and making myself a barrier to her truck. I wasn't going to let her go without a fight. I had almost lost her forever that night on the rocks, and I wasn't going to standby and watch it occur once again. I was much quicker than her truck, throwing my body before it, my hands firmly smashing down onto the hood of the truck. My eyes locking on hers as the rain soaked every inch of me. I waited in the rain for her, I would always wait for her...

Her foot hit the break in disbelief, honking the horn once. I could hear her muffled yell screaming at me to get out of the way, but I ignored it. As a warning, she revved the engine, which I also ignored. Her foot stepped on the gas, the tires spun in the mud that made up the drive way, but the truck went nowhere. Not under my strength. I kept my firm hold on the truck, not allowing it to slip a fraction of an inch forward until she submitted herself to the fact she wasn't escaping me. I was the lion, I would always be the lion, and she was the lamb. She was fragile, and weak. She couldn't escape me even if she so desperately wanted to. She cut the engine with a swift hand movement, emerging from the truck just as quickly. The rain fell on her, washing away the tears that I failed to catch.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" The thunder clapping over us drown her words out to anyone else, though I could still hear them just as clearly. I ignored them, making my way over to her confidently before pushing her up against the old truck she insisted on driving, and kissed her in a way that Juliet only wished she could have received from Romeo. For the first time since I arrived in Forks, I felt her body surrender. Though she didn't kiss me in return, she didn't fight me or challenge me.

I pulled my lips from hers, my hand moving the soaked pieces of hair that clung to her face as the thunder roared above us, lightening dancing across her face. Lighting up the pink wound that spread itself across her forehead. My lips couldn't resist placing countless kisses along the length of it, the last just above her right ear where the healed cut ended. My whispers taking over my lips activities. "I love you, damn it..."

Bella nodded. She collapsed into my body with countless sobs and nodded. Thank you... Thank you, God...


	12. Your Tenderness

**Bella's Point Of View**

He didn't try to dazzle me. Not once. The entire conversation we shared in the pouring rain, his eyes were locked on mine but the sparkle in them had disappeared. I was no longer under the trawl of his superhuman force, luring me to him. Standing in front of me, he was nothing more than a man screaming his love to me over the rolling thunder. He was nothing more than human. It was fairly ironic how after everything that happened between us, I had turned into a zombie, and he into the lowest thing to his species... Mortal. It took me a long time, but I regained my humanity, he was still lost. He knew nothing else other than the loneliness that he felt before me, and the love he felt after me.

I hadn't realized how easily my body had given in, sinking into his body with heaving sobs that continued even in the comfort of his arms. My falling tears went unnoticed against his soaking t-shirt, as if they didn't exist at all. I offered him a nod of comfort, letting him know that I understood his words. I, was comforting the monster after he had killed me all those months before.

My feet were no longer against the ground, instead by body was held tightly against his as he lifted me up, taking me into the dry house. I was sure he could sense illness creeping up from the freezing raindrops. Once inside, his hands offered me a blanket which I accepted and wrapped around my body.

"You're shaking like a leaf..."

"It's cold..." I noticed a slight, guilty expression wash over his face, obviously directed at how closely he had held me to his body of ice. I hadn't even noticed... I wrapped the blanket tighter around my body in an effort to warm myself quicker, though the wetness from my soaked clothing only seeped through the new material against me, letting any chance of that happening escape.

"I can make you something to eat, perhaps a cup of tea?" His body moved before I responded, moving up the stairs and to the kitchen. I was far from hungry and I was not quite in the mood for tea. My hair was tangled, either clung to my face or dripping down my back. My clothing clung to my body in ways that made me more uncomfortable than he knew. My face was sticky from the mass amount of tears I let escape my eyes... that continued to escape. My body was making puddles against the Cullen's perfect floor, I didn't to drag that up the stairs. His body peeked from around the corner of the wall, realizing my presence was no longer with him. My eyes were focused on the paintings and forms of art scattered around the large opening. I had seen them all many times before, though not quite as clearly. They still looked brand new, as if I were seeing them for the first time.

"Bella, love..." My eyes tore from the painting they were studying, turning to meet his. He seemed much more content than he had been only moments ago. "Please?"

"I'm not hungry." It was hard to allow my body time to crave food when instead I was forcing it to continue producing tears. My throat burned from the heavy sobbing which in return made my voice raspy. "I should probably get back to Charlie, he doesn't know I'm gone."

I watched him come back down the stairs much slower than he had gone up them, his eyes not leaving mine once to watch where he was walking. A single nod displaying the hurt he continued to feel. Perhaps my similar nod outside had given him a false hope I had not anticipated. I understood his feelings, but... That didn't mean that I returned them.

"I could take you home, I-"

"It's better if I left alone... I don't think I can risk another moment of weakness." His eyes became understanding, realizing what had happened outside was nothing more than a reflex. I wasn't immune to him. Not yet. If given the chance, I would still collapse against him, I would still rely on him to hold me up when I couldn't stand. I had to pull away from that. "It's better if I was alone..."

His eyes pulled away from mine, looking to the same painting I had been focused on while he was upstairs - unable to look at me before turning and leaving the room without so much as a good-bye. My stomach filled with the same nausea I had felt when he had walked away from me the first time, new tears standing my already ruined face.

Unlike the first time, I was surrounded by things that reminded me of him. The paintings, the floor, the scent... I had to leave. My body tore outside, not stopping until I reached my truck part way down the driveway. I wasted no time with the seat belt, instead throwing the truck into drive before he had the chance to stop me a second time.

He didn't.

I cried a tear for every rain drop that fell on the town of Forks, not bothering to stop crying before I had gotten home. Charlie was pacing the front doorsteps, his hands on his hips as he watched my truck pull up beside his police cruiser in the drive way. It wasn't until now that I wished I had at least left a note for him, he was probably worried sick.

I climbed out of the truck, slamming the door more roughly than I should. I made it two steps before Charlie came to meet me, a worried look in his face. One I had expected. Instead of the lecture I guessed would follow, he placed a single hand on my left shoulder, squeezing gently. Charlie was comforting me...

I felt myself collapse to the gravel of the drive way, his body soon following mine as he knelt before me. Cradling me in his arms as I unleashed the tears I hid from him for six months. He rocked us back and forth, much as I assumed he had when I was a baby, I was still his baby...

"Be strong, kiddo..." I couldn't feel anything. Not my arms, my legs... there was no strength left in me. The force of his arms around me was the only thing keeping the breaths escaping my lips active through helpless sobs. He was the only thing keeping me alive, then and now. "I love you, Bells..."

I had avoided that word for too long, often going to bed before he could toss it casually my way, avoiding Renee's calls in the same ditch effort. I was amazed how much I missed hearing it, how easily it made my dark hell brighten. There was still love in my world, even if it wasn't as intense as I had once known it to be. There was still something left.

His lips found the healed cut in my head, placing a single kiss against it while his hand brushed the damp hair from my face. My forced breaths struggled to regain normalcy while I dried my tears with the sleeve of my soaked t-shirt. He helped, his fingers brushing away the wetness against my face that I had failed to remove.

Charlie was the first to regain composure and stand to his feet, offering me a smile and a hand. I placed mine in his, helping him lift me from the ground I had fallen to, returning his simple smile that meant the world to me at this point. There was still happiness...

"Why don't you get inside and get cleaned up? I'm going to run by the station to drop a few things off, but I'll be back with dinner." I nodded in response to his words, finding more comfort in them than I had in his arms. He would be back, I would be waiting.

I offered him a wave good-bye as he pulled out of the drive way in his cruiser before making my way inside. He had left the heat turned on, knowing fully well with my luck, I would come home less than dry. I appreciated the simple gesture as I made my way upstairs, peeling my dripping clothes from my body before I had managed my way to the bathroom. It felt good to free myself away from the binding material, to be able to breathe.

I spent more time than usual in the shower, perhaps an hour. The time went by slowly as always, but I knew if I kept myself occupied in the hot water long enough, Charlie would be home by the time I had finished. I dreaded being left home alone at this point, being left alone at all, really... I washed my hair twice, conditioning it just as many times before washing myself down with both brands of body wash we owned. My skin now smelt of cucumber melon and vanilla, a strange mixture. I made sure to do both tasks slowly enough to waste a half an hour, soon taking the time to shave my legs. I had run out of things to do, so my hand reached for the hot water and cranked it up more than usual. The burning water against my sore muscles felt amazing. I stood there, feeling amazing.

I heard a noise from downstairs, my hands turning the water off more eagerly than I had wanted to. My skin was flushed a bright red from the abuse of the hot water, but it went unnoticed to me as I quickly dried off, pulling on my red pajama bottoms and a simple blank tank top.

My body practically skipped out of the steaming bathroom, making my way downstairs.

"Charlie?"


	13. Breathe In So Deep

**Edward's Point Of View**

I knocked on her door, knowing she was not yet at home. I was much quicker than her, I had made it to her front doorstep before she had left mine. Charlie was the one to answer, no surprise there. His expression the furthest from happy.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came here to ask you of something..."

"You have the nerve to show up on my doorstep and ask me to do you a favor?! You must be more stupid than I thought, boy..."

"Chief Swan... Please."

His hand lingered on the door he wanted to badly to slam in my face before opening it a fraction of an inch further, leading the way inside. It was a gesture I had not expected from him after the way I had treated his daughter, after the way I had treated him over the phone. I would surely spend the rest of my forever thanking him for giving me the time of day...

His body seated at the kitchen table, pointing to one of the mismatching chairs across from him. I nodded a 'thank you' before taking my seat, my hands folding on the table, my eyes locked on his as he tried to intimidate me. It worked. I had never felt more intimidated by a male, a... human. Perhaps it was because I knew how easily he could deny me the one thing I lived for.

"Chief, I... I came here to ask you for a few hours to talk to your daughter." I held a hand up, begging him not to interrupt me as I continued. "I know the last thing you want is to leave her alone with somebody like me but it's something I need, something she needs. I promise you, this isn't an attempt to win her love. I don't deserve that. She deserves a valid explanation, an apology. I wish to give that to her. Don't be alarmed, she knows I've returned. She's on her way back from my house as we speak... I just... I need to let her know none of this was her fault. That I love her, that I didn't mean to hurt her and most importantly, how sorry I am for everything."

I received a nod from Charlie, he understood. He had the same thoughts, the same intentions to do the same after he and Renee had parted ways. Perhaps he and I shared more in common than I had previously thought. His eyes flashed to the clock hanging on the kitchen's wall, before offering me a nod.

"You've got two hours." With that, Charlie left the house to greet his daughter and bid her a short farewell.

It took Charlie longer than usual to say good-bye to his daughter and drive off. I hid easily as Bella entered the house, soaked from head to toe while fresh tears streaked her perfect face. I wanted so badly to emerge from my hiding spot, to hold her despite her struggles but my conscience reminded me otherwise. Now was not the time to do so, she needed space... she needed time.

I watched her make her way upstairs, averting my eyes as she began taking her wet clothing off. I waited patiently until I knew she was in the comfort of the shower before stepping out into the open, my eyes and senses locking on that of my family. All of them standing eagerly in the doorway.

This was not the time for them, they had no right intruding in on this fragile moment. Alice, no doubt, had a vision of my intentions and blurted her sight out to the rest of them. My hand reached to open the door, my eyes glaring at them. "What, are you doing here..."

Alice beamed up at me, her hands behind her back as she placed a kiss on my cheek, nothing new. Instead of speaking, she stepped inside, the rest of the family swarming in after her, though it didn't stop there. Countless humans followed in, hands full with flowers. Thousands, hundreds of thousands... Every color, every type, every scent. The humans placed them on every available service, the entire house smelling like a garden. I watched, bemused, as my family acted the role of my own personal fairy god mother. Making the too familiar scene before me into that of a fairy tale.

Jasper was standing outside the bathroom door, working his ability on Bella. Soothing her while she showered, Alice ordered the humans around silently, adjusting the flowers every one in a while with a large grin painted across her lips. Emmett and Carlisle had managed to sneak food in without my noticing, setting it up on the kitchen table. They must not have known what Bella's favorites were, for they had bought out the entire restaurant, perhaps countless. off the top, I could see Chinese, Mexican and McDonalds. Rosalie aided both Emmett and Alice, going from setting the food up to rearranging the flowers. Esme was at my side the entire time, snuggling against my arm as she watched her husband and children scurry around the small space.

For the first time since my arrival back in Forks, I adored my family. I was able to see their intentions for both Bella and I, and I smiled. Alice skipped happily over to me, tapping her temple gently. "My visions are never wrong..." I smiled, taking her tiny frame into my arms for the first time in months, holding her. Hugging her. Thanking her. "Thank you... everyone." I had no idea I lived with such sneaky vampires.

Esme beamed up at me, squeezing my hand in hers as she motioned for the rest of the family to leave. She waited until everyone, including the humans had cleared out before speaking. "Don't let her go." A simple four words from my mother, that I would cherish and honor for the rest of my life. I felt her tugging on the pocket of my jeans, though my attention was quickly torn from that as Jasper made his way downstairs, offering me a smile, a nod and an exit. Esme soon followed, being sure to slam the door much more roughly than necessary. The sound of the water from the shower was the next thing to leave. Bella would soon be joining me in this dream.

I wasn't sure what to do with myself. My clothing stood out of place amongst the gorgeous flowers. They had managed to dry quite a bit through the heat of the house, though still looked damaged and crinkled.


	14. Baby Just Say Yes

**Bella's Point Of View**

I continued skipping downstairs, halting my fast pace movement when Edward stepped in front of the stair case. His eyes traveled up each stair before resting on me. My pace continued as I slowly completed my descent downstairs, my eyes leaving his to scan the hundreds of thousands of flowers placed around the first floor of my home. They were gorgeous... Tropical and exotic, all looking and smelling more incredible than any flower I had ever known. Each one unique, like a novel. Screaming out stories to me, over the hanging silence that was left between him and I.

From outside, from every open window and crack in the door I could hear the song start. A song I didn't know the words to, but would soon learn to love and appreciate more than I knew.

_We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes and the flashbacks start. I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air._

"Isabella Swan, I've lived all around this world for the past century. For thirty-six thousand, four hundred and twenty five days I have roamed this earth alone. Not knowing that the entire time I had something waiting for me, a destiny much larger than I dreamed for myself. Somewhere out there, someone was creating you. Making your hands to fit perfectly in mine. Making your scent my own, personal brand of heroin. I existed, I lived - or so I thought. Little did I know I did neither of those things until the day I met you."

_See the lights, the see party, the ball gowns. See you make your way through the crowd and say 'hello'. Little did I know..._

"The century I had witnessed no longer existed. I was reborn upon first laying eyes on you. I was human again, able to feel. There were times when I was with you, at your side when I realized I was just pretending to be human. I would always be the monster, your personal predictor, thirsting for your life. I could never offer you a normal life, Bella..."

_That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles and my daddy said 'stay away from Juliet!'. And I was crying on the staircase, begging you please don't go..._

"So I left. I forced myself to come to terms with what was right in front of me. I was... I am, no good for you. I cannot offer you children, I cannot offer you safety from my own cravings. I cannot offer you what another human could. While I was gone, I had those entire six months to think about things, to miss you..."

_And I said, 'Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess. It's a love story, baby just say yes.'_

"I am better than any human out there, Bella. I can do things they can't, irregardless of the larger list of things I can't do. I can love you more than anyone in this entire universe. I have an eternity to prove that to you, everyday. I know I can give you anything, everything you want. I know, with practice, I can be the man you dream about each night. I can be your prince."

_So I sneak out to the garden to see you. We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew. So close your eyes.... Escape this town for a little while._

My eyes stung horribly as they filled with tears for what seemed like the millionth time today. There was something in his voice... something I had never heard before. Letting me know that he was never going to leave me, he would always love me. I heard forever.

_'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter and my daddy said 'stay away from Juliet' but you were everything to me. I was begging you, please don't go..._

He stood before me, baring his heart, his soul, his everything. Surrounded by a fairy tale that he created for me. To make me feel like the princess he saw me as, the piece of perfection he created in his mind. I stood before him, in pajama pants never feeling more beautiful.

_And I said, 'Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess. It's a love story, baby just say yes.'_

I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand as he stepped forward. His soft fingers replacing my own as he brushed the wetness away from my face. Never in my short life had I heard something to beautiful, something that for once, rang true. "I felt so lost..." My words were quivering, trying so hard not to collapse into heavy sobs as they had all the times before. "I believe you... I believe that you found me."

_Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel. This love is difficult, but it's real. Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess... It's a love story, baby just say yes._

My body and my mind were finally in sync for the first time in months, running the rest of the way to him. My arms finding their way around his neck, pulling him into a hug much tighter than I had ever know. His own arms were firmly around my waist, holding me with a passion neither of us had ever experienced. I felt his cold body quivering... sobbing in rhythm with my own. We held each other, and cried

_I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around. My faith in you is, fading... when I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said:_

My tears stained his now dry t-shirt, his lips kissing my bare shoulder repeatedly, as if it were the last time he would ever see me. It took all the strength in the world for him to pull himself away from me, my expression showing off the hurt I felt from the gesture.

_Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come. Is this in my head? I don't know what to think... He knelt to the ground, and he pulled out a ring and said:_

As if on cue, Edward dropped to one knee in front of me, his eyes smiling up at me, though the rest of his body clearly nervous. One of his hands took mine, his other reaching into his pocket, withdrawing a small box. I felt the breath escape my body as he opened it, revealing a ring resembling ones I had only seen in movies. He smiled up at me, before speaking along with the words of the song.

_"Marry me, Juliet. You'll never have to be alone. I love you, and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress. It's a love story, baby just say... yes."_

He had memorized the words of a song, a song that wasn't from his day. The gesture alone made my heart melt. I had no tears left to cry, I had no words. I was lost in a child's book my mother had read to me many moons ago. A princess, locked in a tower soon rescued by a beautiful man on a white horse. My prince was asking me to be his forever. I still felt hurt, the past six months still lingering around us. I could easily tell him that I wasn't ready, that I was still hurting. I could do so, and risk my fairy tale ending.

I nodded.

He picked himself up from his knees, wrapping his arms tightly around me as he lifted me up from the ground in a tight embrace. Spinning me around, his lips pressed against mine with such force, my heart almost failed me. The ring had found itself on my finger during the rush of emotions, both of us now tangled up in each other, ignoring the people that now stood around the room.

Esme was the first to approach us, tearing us from each others eyes as she threw her arms around us both. If tears existed in her world, they would have been streaming down her happy face. Edward took her under one of his arms, hugging her tightly to his body, whispering nothing more than "thank you."

Alice stood with Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, squealing in delight. I could see the wedding plans in her eyes as I offered my best friend a smile. The feelings of hatred I held against each one of the Cullen's vanished... Left in a horror novel. The princess was saved.

Carlisle stood, shaking hands with Charlie. Welcoming him too, into his family. Charlie wiped the tears from his own face in a many way, shooting a smile and a wink my way. He had been in on the plan the entire time. They all had. I didn't care, though. I didn't have enough space inside me for any other emotion than I was feeling right now. Bliss.

For half a second, I felt my bliss slipping away from me, my eyes darting to Jasper who put his hands up in defense. "I just don't want you to explode..." Charlie eyed him in question, Jasper covering it up, insisting it was an inside joke between the two. I didn't want him meddling in my feelings, not today. I wanted to explode, to feel every bit of perfection, happiness, excitement. I had never felt so alive.

I was pulled into another hug, Edward's chin resting against my head as he held me to his body. "I love you..."

I smiled, nodding beneath him. "I know. I love you."

_We were both young, when I first saw... you._


End file.
